5 Signs Your Child is Struggling with Big Emotions—and How to Help

Parenting a child with big emotions can feel overwhelming. One moment, they’re full of joy, and the next, they’re melting down over something as small as a misplaced sock. You might find yourself wondering, Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? The truth is, big emotions are a normal part of childhood, especially for kids who may not yet have the tools to manage their feelings. Children learn how to navigate feelings that they have experience having. So, as a parent, recognizing the signs of emotional struggle is the first step toward supporting your child through their challenges and helping them feel less alone in the chaos. 

In this post, we’ll explore five common signs your child might be having a hard time managing big emotions—and, more importantly, how you can support them through it all. 

1. Frequent Meltdowns Over Small Issues
Does a broken crayon or a skipped TV show lead to an outburst? These meltdowns might seem exaggerated to you, but to your child, they’re real and overwhelming. Children with big emotions often struggle to put things into perspective. 

How to Help: Instead of dismissing their feelings, validate them. Say something like, “I can see this is really upsetting for you.” Then, gently guide them toward a solution. A big thing to consider is that - while this is a minimal problem to you, this is experienced as a giant problem to them. The reason it is minimal to you now is because you were able to grow in your capacity to handle things such as that. The same thing will be true for your child. The more they feel connected, understood, and respected as they navigate the big feelings- the faster they are able to re-regulate and be open to suggestions and support. If you find that your child isn’tlearning how to navigate small challenges- consider that the meltdown is possibly about something entirely different and get curious about what that can be.  

Remember- people get louder the less they feel heard- This is as true for adults as it is for children. Use that as a cue to let you know that they (or you) are not feeling heard and adjust the approach accordingly. 

2. Difficulty Transitioning Between Activities
Transitions can feel like monumental tasks for kids who thrive on routine or struggle with flexibility. It is also a skill that isn’t automatically in place. Moving from playtime to dinner might feel as jarring as switching from a vacation to a workday for an adult- or like transitioning from your favorite activity to mediating a fight between your children.  

How to Help: Provide clear warnings and predictable routines as often as possible. For some children, using timers or visual schedules can ease the transition process and increase self determination for children 2 years old and older. Another option is to see how you can bring in play for the transitions. Perhaps flying your child like an airplane to the bathtub or singing a call and response song with your adolescent. There are few challenges that bringing in play won’t support/solve! 

3. Trouble Expressing Feelings with Words
When kids can’t articulate their emotions, they often resort to actions—like yelling, crying, or even withdrawing. This isn’t defiance; it’s frustration from not having the words to communicate what they’re feeling. We all use whatever strategies we have to get our needs met. If you don’t love the strategies your child is using to express their needs and wants, a great thing to do is increase the tools they have to get those needs met. 

How to Help: Teach your child emotional vocabulary by naming feelings for them. For instance, “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because you can’t find your favorite toy.” Using books, toys, video, and songs can be supportive aids to increase vocabulary around emotions. If this is something you would like to grow in, please check out our Calm Within the Chaos hybrid class to boost those skills or our parent/child workshops that are hosted within the state of Wisconsin.  

4. Acting Out in Public or School Settings
Kids with big emotions might lash out or struggle to follow rules in structured and unstructured environments. These behaviors aren’t a reflection of your parenting—they’re a sign that your child needs more support to regulate their emotions in these environments. 

How to Help: Partner with teachers or caregivers to identify the root of the behavior and work with the child to create a plan to support those challenges. Sometimes we aim to solve a problem without including the child in the process and then, often, do not see the desired results. Additionally, we want to share successful approaches between environments so that there can be consistent approaches as much as possible. If home is a place of success, consider using home time to practice regulation strategies that can be used in challenging settings.  

NOTE: It is key that the child get as much practice using the regulation strategies at points of calm so that they can be accessed when needed. 

If the child is showing resistance to emotion regulation strategies use- that is a great sign that increased practice in a playful environment is key.  

5. Withdrawal and Shutting Down Emotionally
Not all kids express their emotions outwardly. Some may retreat, avoid eye contact, or stop participating in activities they once loved. This “shutdown” mode is their way of protecting themselves when they feel overwhelmed. 

How to Help: Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable opening up. For some children, that is establishing a notebook that allows for notes to be shared freely with the expectation that the topics shared are not brought up verbally from the adult. For other families it is establishing a day/time/space for families to bring up their thoughts and feelings without interruption/argument. A great way to set this up for the grownups is to create a rule where the child can say their thoughts and the adult is only allowed to respond with clarifying questions to help them understand the child’s perspective for at least 5-10 minutes- then take a break and ponder different options before getting back together to discuss multiple perspectives. Ideally led by the child. 

Big emotions in kids can feel daunting! The more you can grow your capacity to meet your children in their emotions, the more they will increase their capacity to weather them as well. 

Remember, it’s not about eliminating big emotions—it’s about helping your child manage them effectively. 

You’ve got this, and you’re not alone on this journey! 

If you find yourself wanting support, we have a few options. 

Our Calm Within the Chaos hybrid workshop allows you to work through content on your own time and join our live group coaching to get support in real time. This option balances the best of both words! Click HERE to learn more. 

Our parenting workshops allow you to work through content with peers and establish a plan for how to continue to take action post workshop. This option prioritizes quickly getting information and peer conversations! 

Our 1:1 parent coaching allows parents and caregivers to have weekly conversations about present day struggles and work through content at their pace. This option is great for people who want 1:1 support! Please note- there is often a long waitlist for 1:1 parent coaching, so starting with the hybrid class or workshop is a great way to get started while getting on a waitlist.