Managing Big Emotions in Public: Tips for When It Feels Out of Control

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There is just something about the grocery store that takes a nice day and turns it sideways. You’re at the grocery store, navigating the aisles with a cart full of items when your child suddenly starts to melt down. Maybe they’re frustrated, tired, bored, lonely, or overstimulated—and maybe you’re starting to feel like you’re losing control and the embarrassment is coming in hot! Public meltdowns are tough, and as parents, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and want to do ANYTHING to make it stop. But these moments don’t have to feel out of control- nor do they have to leave you and your child feeling a world apart.

In today’s blog, we’ll explore strategies for staying calm and composed during public emotional outbursts, as well as tips for how to handle these challenging moments with confidence, without feeling judged or ashamed.

1. Stay Calm
Easier said than done, right? But staying calm is key. Remember- the judgy Judy's will move on to the outrageous price of yogurt at their next turn- if you look at other people, look and you'll find empathy in another mama's eyes. We've all been there. Many times. This too shall pass and soon you'll be the mama giving empathy eyes to another parent in those same aisles. Take a deep breath, focus on grounding yourself, and remind yourself: we are on the same team and this is temporary.

2. Address Their Needs
In public meltdowns, kids are often overwhelmed and their chaos builds alongside yours. Get down to their eye level and offer a hug. I've rarely been in a public meltdown that a hug didn't diffuse. This shows empathy and that your child is still loveable. Once you hear the deep breath, you can go into figuring out what they need and teaching them a different way to ask for it. Children need to practice in the environment- so even if people are side eyeing, they will be far more impressed than they will be irritated if they see you confidently teaching your child how to be in that environment in the future. People are far more willing to excuse chaotic disruptions if they feel they are being addressed- and you'll walk away looking like a champ! Your child will walk away feeling loved, connected with, and confident as well.   

3. Ignore the Judgement
Other people’s opinions don’t matter. Focus on your child and the moment, not on strangers’ reactions. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. Remember- progress not perfection!

4. Have a Plan for Next Time
Once you’re home and everyone has calmed down, reflect on what triggered the meltdown. Prepare strategies for similar situations in the future, like bringing snacks, toys, increasing playfulness in your interactions with your child in the aisles, making a game out of the trip, giving your child a "job" when there, or using calming techniques.

The more you practice these techniques, the more confident you’ll become in handling public emotional outbursts. These moments are an opportunity to model resilience for your child and show them that it’s okay to feel big emotions—what matters is how we handle them.

Public meltdowns are hard, but they don’t define you as a parent. They are the battle scars we all carry with us. With preparation, empathy, and a little patience, you can navigate these moments with confidence. Remember, progress—not perfection—is the goal.