What to Remember When Your Child Is Struggling

Last fall, a mom reached out after noticing big shifts in her 9-year-old daughter. A once-curious and bubbly kid, her daughter had grown quiet, irritable, and resistant to anything that used to bring her joy. Homework led to tears. Mornings started with dread. Every request felt like a battle.

She wasn’t sure if it was anxiety, hormones, or just the start of a new phase, but she did know her daughter was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to help.

We talked through what her daughter was communicating through her behavior. Not with words, but with withdrawal, meltdowns, and resistance. And we worked on shifting from “fixing” to supporting.

If your child is struggling right now, here are a few reminders that helped her and might help you too:

1. Behavior is a clue, not the whole story.

Your child may not have the words to say, “I’m sad,” “I’m scared,” or “I don’t know what’s wrong.” So instead, it shows up as defiance, disinterest, or outbursts. When she stopped taking her daughter’s behavior personally, she could show up with more compassion and less urgency to “solve” it.

2. Your calm is more powerful than your solution.

She shared that just sitting next to her daughter and saying, “I’m here” became more soothing than any pep talk. When kids are dysregulated, connection calms the brain. Start there.

3. You don’t have to have all the answers.

There’s power in being present, even when you feel unsure. Try saying, “I don’t have it all figured out, but we’ll get through this together.” That’s what helps kids feel safe, knowing they’re not alone.

As her daughter began to feel safer expressing her emotions, her behavior slowly shifted. There were still tough days, but now, she felt more equipped to meet them without fear or frustration.

If you’re in the middle of a tough season, remember: struggling isn’t a sign you’ve failed. It’s a sign your child needs support, not solutions.

Want to build your toolbox and connect with others navigating similar challenges? Check out our upcoming workshops designed to help parents understand behavior, strengthen relationships, and move from chaos to calm.